Friendship: Accepting and being accepted

“You did not choose me; I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit, the kind of fruit that endures.” John 15:16a (Good News)

One thing I love about interacting with junior highers is that when ever I get overwhelmed with a concept I have an outlet for teaching that forces all of those lofty ideas back to earth.  I’ve been digging into the concept of friendship as it’s found in scripture for a while now so I took this question to a group of junior highers last week: “What makes someone your friend?”

Of all the responses, one struck me as loaded with a powerful message for our lives: “A friends accepts you as you are.”

I think we all, at least intellectually, would say that God accepts us as we are.  We find that here in John 15 when Jesus speaks of choosing the imperfect disciples to go and bear fruit.  His acceptance of us is humbling and worth meditating on.  However, what struck me deeper in thinking of friendship and acceptance was the power of accepting God as He is.  I think accepting God on His terms may be more difficult than allowing God to accept us as we are.  God’s character is unchanging and we so often enter into friendships hoping somehow that the other person will change or adapt to meet our needs.  God will meet our every need but He is unwavering in His identity and character.  To engage in healthy friendship with God takes both accepting and being accepted.  It takes a willingness to let God be God and to let God love us as we are.  Motion towards maturity in Christ comes from that foundational place of rest.

Friendship: Associate, companion, friend, lover

As I study friendship in scripture I’ve been looking into the actual Hebrew and Greek words used. In the OT when Abraham’s friendship with God is referenced the word used is generally translated in the OT as love.  It has a breadth of definition that includes beloved and lover.  It’s not that scripture is saying God was Abraham’s lover, but the word in other contexts has that connotation. It can be a very intimate, even sexual, word (Strong’s H157). When the Lord talked to Moses, on the other hand, it was the more common word for friend in the OT (H7453).  One that still includes lover as a possibility, but generally is used as friend, associate, brother or companion.

In terms of friendship with God I feel this points to a truth we find in our friendships with each other.  In healthy friendship people connect on multiple levels.  In the strongest friendships there is significance in talking about the superficial, the personal, the intimate, and in the times where both parties are completely silent.  I think we often feel pressured to strive to connect with God at all times on the most intimate level or to press into an abstract notion of intimacy.  I question if those ideals are really the best.  I’m leaning towards true intimacy as being comfortable with God and with yourself at all times.  Living in constant conversation with Him but not striving to attain some deeper connection.  Growing in depth and maturity in Christ at His pace and not our own.

Developing a Theology of Friendship

John 15:12-17 (New International Version)

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.

“The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend“  and Abraham was called God’s friend (2 Chronicles 20:7, Isaiah 41:8, James 2:23).  Now if both Abraham and Moses were under the old covenant and reached a place of friendship with God, how much more freedom do we have to enter into that friendship now that we live under the new covenant!  What does that friendship look like on a practical level?  In what ways does it effect how we are friends with our brothers and sisters in Christ?  What elements of what we find valuable in friendship with others points towards the fullness of experiencing friendship with God?  In what ways do our earthly friendships need to be shaped by heavenly standards set in scripture?  With the curtain torn and considering 2 Corinthians 3:7-18, why would we not all experience the LORD speaking to us face to face?

This idea of friendship with God is causing all sorts of havoc in my brain and spirit as it has been bouncing around seeking to engage and transform my heart and mind.  I tried to unpack it with some junior highers and a few friends over this past week and those interactions will be fodder for the next few posts on this subject.  In the meantime, you are all welcome to engage the passage and the questions above before I post again.

Culture is not a discipline problem

Culture is not a discipline problem. The function of the church is not to form others into our image, but to journey with them as we discover together what it means to worship God in spirit and in truth. On that journey, all will be conformed into the image of Christ, as the Refiner’s fire brings to question the things we’ve added to the gospel. Church structure must make space for the redemption of culture.  The evaluation of what is good, what is redeemable, and what needs to be severed and thrown to the fire.  As we seek to minister in that way to those whose culture differs from our own we will find that our culture is continually forced through that same refining process as we prepare for that day when we will worship and rejoice with every nation, tribe and tongue.

Strictly enforced “church rules” can have the unfortunate effect of building religious walls to keep us safe from cultural challenges that would force us to consider what parts of what we believe are at best irrelevant and at worst un-biblical. Obviously there must be structure and discipline, but it’s sinfully inadequate to justify rules to promote sin management or morality with rigidly interpreted verses and ignore the heart of God as revealed by Scripture. That would be breathing life back into the law. The heart behind discipline must be to establish a culture of grace that creates a safe environment for newcomers to enter into an encounter with Christ. There must be a deep theology behind our disciplinary structures, one that we can explain and invite people into. One that points to the God who spared the first murderer. One that points to the Messiah who cast off his right to throw the first stone. A theology that takes into account that Jesus said “Go now and leave your life of sin” and celebrated Zacchaeus’ generous repentance, while at the same time realizes that not only did he associate with the “tax collectors and sinners” but they liked associating with him too.

Becoming a Sent People: Humility and Identity

In John 17:21 and 23 Jesus’ prayer includes what I would consider an audacious promise.  His prayer states that if those who believe in the apostles words (vs. 20) will be one, the world will know and believe that Jesus was sent by the Father. I believe that the key to why this is the case is found in John 17:18 and 20:21. As Jesus was sent by the Father so also he sent out the disciples. As Jesus was sent, so we are sent. The world knowing and believing in Jesus comes about from more than lone evangelists crying out for sinners to repent. The revelation of God’s sending Jesus comes from the body being bound together in oneness. It comes from us living as one, sent people and that comes from dwelling in the reality that we are a loved people (John 17:23).  Loved with the same perfect love that Jesus was loved with and sent by.  When we accept and rest under that weight of undeserved love we are shaped in two ways that lead into us being formed into a sent people: Humility and Identity.

Humility

When you begin to realize you don’t deserve God’s affections and that you can not earn grace, it forces you to a position of humility.  To be loved first, before any movement towards holiness was ever displayed in your life, is an assault against any grounds for pride.  The very nature of being sent also points to humility – a humility that Jesus displayed.  His words to commission the disciples referenced his own sending to show what it would look like.  Paul the apostle sums up this example of humility in Philippians 2:5-7.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. (ESV)

Submission to the sender is required of one who goes at the request of another.  There is a position of subordination that is required.  Now in that submission you are not making yourself less, but saying that God is more trustworthy with your life than you are.  You become more by placing yourself in right relationship with God, which leads to the second result of resting under the undeserved love of God.

Identity

The phrase that is fast becoming cliche is, “To know who you are is to know whose you are” or some variation there of.  But cliche or not – it is true.  To know our relationship with the One who sends us secures in us identity.  Jesus was sent as the only beloved Son of God, and because of Christ’s sacrifice we are all invited to become sent out as beloved daughters and sons of God, in whom He is well pleased.  To become a sent people is to live in the reality that we are chosen into a family of brothers and sisters, and that we are given commission to expand that family to every corner of the earth.  To make disciples is to witness the re-birth of people into the kingdom as daughters and sons of God.

Humility and Identity as a People

I believe that the relationships between brothers and sisters in Christ become attractive to the world when we live in the tension between knowing that we are unworthy of grace and believing that in Christ we are called worthy.  Humility kills pride and identity creates confidence.  The two working in tandem create a freedom to not only be sent into the world, but sent into the joy and hardships of our brothers and sisters.

Reflections on Rest and Trust

For the Christian, to rest is an act of trust.

The sabbath as an individual or community expression makes the bold statement to the world that God is in control.  It says that our efforts can be put on hold for a day because of the knowledge that it is, in fact, He who will bring everything to completion and fruition.

To take on a lifestyle of rest is to stand in stark opposition to the culture of business that consumes much of the world (secular and Christian).  The sovereignty of God allows for the freedom to leave anxiety behind and walk in peace at all times knowing that the rule and reign of God remains uninterrupted no matter what we do or don’t do.

If you think this is dangerous you are absolutely right.  It is dangerous to our pride.  Our pride that says if I don’t do something then nothing is going to happen.  It is dangerous to our imperfect motivations that lead to religiously acting out our devotion so fervently that we ignore the need to respond out of relationship to God.  This is not an excuse for inaction, but there is definitely a major shift when our motivation to act moves from fear to trust.  A movement from the fear of falling out of grace to trusting that the grace that saved us is strong enough to carry us to maturity as we learn to follow Christ. It is a movement towards relationship. Not in an abstract way, but a real relationship in which a mutual trust begins to grow between us and the Almighty.  As we invest in trusting Him, our actions will come out of the humbling reality that He has lovingly chosen us and trusts we who love Him to partner as co-labors to carry out His work in the world.

How does Jesus love you?

Have you ever reflected on how Jesus loves you?  In other words, have you ever considered the specific ways and methods he uses to display his affections for you personally?  When you care for someone you generally don’t give them gifts that they don’t like. Hopefully, you try to find ways to show them your love that are significant to them.  If you are in any sort of meaningful relationship you probably put effort into figuring out how to bring joy into the life of the other person.

Those of us who are Christians are in a very real relationship with Jesus, and it’s not just about us showing our care for him.  It’s also learning to acknowledge and appreciate the many ways he shows his care for us.  Foundationally it’s an appreciation for the cross and the empty tomb, which are the greatest expression of love.  In addition to that I believe there are ways he displays his love to us as specific individuals.  In small ways, Jesus shows his love to me differently than to you – because he knows me intimately.

I’m on a mission to help other people realize what those displays of love from Jesus look like in their lives.  As part of that quest I’m fishing for examples from friends and peers.  So how does Jesus love you?  What ways does he display his affections in your life that you appreciate but others might not?

Entertainment industry and social activism: A rant

If you know me at all you know I’m a passionate person.  I give myself fully to whatever I’m involved in (or whatever God get’s me involved in).  You also know that Uganda is part of that passion – one that I’m constantly learning more about and praying for.  Yesterday three things popped up about the rebel group which has been abducting children, mutilating people, and causing terror in northern Uganda, South Sudan, and DRC.  One of these was a report from an organization that is reporting an increase in activity of the LRA rebel group, possible re-established ties with the Sudanese government in Khartoum, among other more factual reporting.  You can read the information here: http://www.resolveuganda.org/node/888

The other two, however, are people trying to walk the razors edge between entertainment and social activism.  You can read a little about them here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8226675.stm

I had been struggling with this sort of thing since the release of District 9. I’ve avoided it because I don’t think my heart could handle social commentary on refugee camps and racism that so closely resemble the ones that exist now but instead of people they are filled with aliens.  Just where I’m at.  But the article above pushed it from the background processing to the forefront.  The organization that I volunteered with in Uganda is involved with the film, and I believe and hope it will be well and responsibly done. But that hadn’t even been a concern until I read the line, “Earlier this week, a comic book about the LRA, featuring the WWII character Unknown Soldier, was launched by DC Comics.”

A comic book about the LRA?!  The first 29 pages are available on the internet and I recommend that you do not read them if you care about this situation or have been to Uganda or are generally sensitive to violence.  It graphically depicts, in comic book art, some of the horrors of the LRA.  It was hard to read, which is good because reality is harder, but at the same time I had to wonder if that is really the medium to bring those horrors to light?  Comic books and movies are a business, they are out to make money.  Do they really have the heart to do this responsibly or are they going to cut corners on truth to make it more sensational?  And the other side of things, will those who read or watch actually tie what they see into reality?  Will it grip them or be marginalized because we have generally been desensitized to what we read and see from entertainment media sources.  And if it does grip us, what will we do with it? Will the general comic book reader or movie goer dig deeper than the info they are presented with or will they feel informed about the situation because of how the media has filtered and presented it?  Will the general viewer of a gripping documentary dig any deeper?  The profits from the movie “Girl Soldier” will go towards organizations in northen Uganda – which is among the reasons I trust that film and those making it.  But what of the profits from the comic book, or from District 9?  I don’t know.

” ‘The film is incredibly fictionalized in certain areas,’ Mr Raee told the BBC’s Network Africa programme.” That’s my other concern for social activism coming out of the media industry and also from documentaries and social justice organizations.  Truth.  Do they actually present truth or do they adjust lighting and music to present a gripping yet accessible portion of reality in order to activate people towards their movement.  Is truth forfeited in substitution for action and mobilizing the masses?  It’s much easier to stir people up than to truly inform and educate them.  There is a growing generation primed to be passionately released to change the world.  Will they do it in ignorance or in truth?  Will they be motivated by a selfish compassion that wants the pain inside them to end or a Christ centered compassion that seeks to better things not only now but for all eternity.  One that can actually enter into the suffering and not be consumed by it.  One that is passionate to see things change but at peace in each moment knowing that it is God who is in control and He who is responsible for the transformation.  A compassion that is patient because it knows and trusts that it comes from the Father in heaven who cares more deeply than we could ever imagine over the distance between the way things are and the way things should be. And lastly a compassion that is filled with a near inappropriate joy knowing how good the Father is and how much it is in his heart for all to be under his care.

Departure, detachment, and destiny

I leave for the next leg of my travels on Monday.  Last month I spent almost three weeks in the Washington DC/Alexandria, VA area.  Week one was a good ammount of time in coffee shops and out on the waterfront of Old Town Alexandria – I call that week vacation.  Week two was the tourist week, as my friend Stephanie came into town and had arranged several tours through our Representatives office (Capitol Building, White House, State Department).  The third week was focused on a two day event called “How it Ends” which was Lobby Days for Northern Uganda.  That was work and spiritual warfare.  Politics are every bit as shady as people make them out to be, and the slightly informed yet extremely passionate mob is every bit as frightening as one would imagine.  Spattered across the three weeks were a handful of meetings with friends and acquaintances whom I connected with as I’ve pursued possible increased involvement in northern Uganda.

Only last Wednesday I was on my way out the door of my friend’s appartment and it seems like an age ago.  The excitement and anxiety of prepairing for Uganda has forced me to put the reality that I may never meet those friends face to face again on the back burner.  It’s a strange thing to realize that I’m intentionally not dealing with that and instead choosing to let my mind believe that in a few months or a year I’ll go back or they’ll come over here.  I’m just hoping this doesn’t compile ontop of the re-entry I’m going to go through when I get back from Africa.

I think it’s strange that everyone seems to think this summer is somehow for me about finding destiny or some such thing.  It’s not.  I have my calling on life – I’m just doing my best to move with the Spirit as that calling works its self out.  My desire is to see Jesus’ prayer in for the church to be one in John 17 to be answered.  That means here and there, it means encouraging the church where it exists, establishing it where it is absent, and giving it voice where it is voiceless.  In a way, this summers travels are not in search of anything in particular but living out what I feel called to.  I’m not searching in the sense of that I feel unfulfilled, or that there is something mysterious absent from my life that I’m hoping to find.  I’m practicing and testing out what I already know that I am called to.  Just on a bit grander scale than in the past.

The next blog will be from Uganda – probably on Wednesday or Thursday.  After that – God only knows.  Thank you for reading and please keep me in your prayers.

Not doing so good on the mobile blogging thing

I spent most of the last three weeks in Washington DC and Alexandria.  It was a time of vacation, site seeing, encouraging friends, and a little bit of lobbying for northern Uganda.  I’m back in Dinuba for a week and then I’ll be off to Uganda on July 6th.  I’ll try to post a couple of stories from the East Coast adventure here in a bit but for now you can read some of it from my friend who I stayed with.

http://wanderingwhispers.blogspot.com/2009/06/treasure-hunt-not-what-you-might-think.html

http://wanderingwhispers.blogspot.com/2009/06/intuition-gut-feeling-or-god-talking-to.html